So one sunny Thursday afternoon a couple of weeks back I went down to the beach for some solitary tanning time. As it was a weekday there weren't many people on the beach other than lots of groups of old women, a few holiday makers and people who had gone down alone like myself. I knew I wouldn't see any kids about that I knew as they were all at school so it was time to get the gals out for some sun. Y'know.
A few minutes later I noticed a man, probably about 30, alone and wearing those hideous speedo-shorts that mainland europeans seem to love set up a few meters behind me. Undeterred, I carried on chilling out and listening to my music. After about 5 minutes he still hadn't lay down on his towel and was just standing looking out at the beach. Now feeling a little conscious I rolled over and read a magazine on my front instead. Not 2 minutes later I noticed a pair of feet by my magazine and the man was squatted down in front of me. I couldn't hear what he was saying so I took out my earphones.
"Hi, I'm Sergey" - he extended his hand for me to shake it, which I did, awkwardly
"Hi, Sergey" - at this point I'm thinking 'F- OFF RIGHT NOW' but I don't say this obviously because I'm polite and British.
"I'm from Russia" - Anyone with half a brain had worked this out by now with his strong Russian accent. He continued to talk to me for about 5 minutes even though I was really giving nothing back to the conversation. He made me write his email address in my phone after I told him I don't have whatsapp, viber or twitter. He invited me into the sea with him which I declined. He invited me to go for a drink with him which I also declined. He asked if I had a boyfriend, which I do, so I said yes. This didn't stop him. He was determined to take me someplace for a drink where he would speak to me in broken English and I would stare off into the distance uninterested and thinking about my boyfriend back home. I declined his many offers and said
"sorry I have a boyfriend I don't want to go anywhere with you."
"But we can be friends, you don't want a friend?"
"No, I'm good I have enough friends thanks though." - and that was the end of Sergey bothering me and he was on to the next one. (I'm not even joking here is a picture of him bothering some other poor girl on the beach who had come with her young son.)
May I add that when he was with me he was only wearing the speedos. Awks.
After a nap I saw Sergey lying sleeping on his towel so I stick my earphones in, turn the music on and lie on my back again.
Just as I was drifting off once more I feel someone push my shoulder (RUDE - I'm sleeping) - I look up and ANOTHER man is squatted down next to me. Very shocked and taken aback I cover myself with my arms and say
"Hi?"
"Hi," he says, "I'm Vladimir"
Oh for f-'s sake is this actually happening? I just look at him blankly.
"I think you are beautiful lady, you come with me now to have some sangria?"
"No, I'm relaxing, thanks" - I go to put my earphones back in to show I'm really not up for a chat. He doesn't give up.
"Okay then a beer, you like the beer"
"No, I don't want to go for a drink with you, I just want to lie here alone, thanks" - he got the message, mumbled something and left. I was done with the Russians. Anyone would think that these guys were together but they actually weren't. What is going on? There's something that feels fine about lying down on a beach half naked in public but something definitely NOT okay with a stranger talking to you while you're lying down on a beach half naked in public. I'd really like to be able to get the gals out without being harrassed. But, it makes for a weird story.
Here's the funniest part of all -
The other day I remembered that Sergey's email address was still in my phone so I decided to go 'Catfish' and put it in google. What came up was more than I could have ever hoped for, I expected a business website, maybe a facebook account. But no - his email address was written to contact him for a Jason Statham lookalike (which he looks nothing like!) along with other Russians who looked nothing like him! I found this hilarious - his picture was even him posed next to cinema posters of Jason Statham with a very serious face.
In other news
Kids love giving me their paper creations which I think is majorly cute and I now have a paper aeroplane, a drawing of what looks like an easter egg and a note that says 'Bez guapa' which means Pretty Beth, aw. I have since found out that lots of the kids think my name is spelt like 'Bez' which is funny. (Z in Spanish makes a 'th' sound)
I also went back to Nottingham for a weekend to see my boyfriend and my friends and it was the best weekend everrrrrrrrrr I had such an amazing time. Highlights were going to the Point (the SU bar on my campus) which I refused to leave at the end, going to watch an ice hockey game (let's go panthers!) and going Ice skating with my boyfriend :)
Miss you all xoxoxoxoxoxox
The girls (me on the far right)
Beth xx
No comments:
Post a Comment